The Battle of the Kitchen

This post could also be entitled the battle of the laundry room. Or the fridge, etc.

If you're like me, you grew up in a home where your mom taught you how to do things pretty specifically. Like how to fold clothes, how to load the dishwasher, the juice always goes on the door of the fridge, etc. If you're like me, you might also be surprised to learn that your husband doesn't do things the same way you grew up doing them (*gasp!). The juice ends up on a shelf in the fridge, your underwear are suddenly being folded in a different direction, and the dishwasher never gets loaded quite the "right" way.

What's a girl to do? Do you get used to the plates turned the other way in the dishwasher? Do you quickly move the juice back to the fridge door when your husband isn't looking? Do you let your husband know that really your shirts like to be folded in thirds and not halves?

This is something I'm in the process of learning right now. I want to say first that my husband is extremely capable of doing all kinds of household chores. In fact, he often does them better and more thoroughly than I do! (Case in point: Laundry day rolls around. We have enough whites and colors for a half load each. David suggests washing the whites separately from the colors. Molly wants to throw them all in together. Molly does so and white undershirts come out with blue stains. Go David!) And, I also appreciate his willingness to help me around the house without complaining, even if he's had a long day at work. So no, I'm not using this post to laugh about the clumsiness of men. No no, if anything, I'm chiding myself for not always handling this the best way. Can anyone relate?

I think the most important thing to say about all of this is don't let it become a point of contention. Pick your battles. In fact, don't battle at all. This minuscule, temporary, earthy thing is not worth sacrificing the unity and harmony you have with each other.

Making suggestions is great, too. Sometimes I will show David the way I load the dishwasher or gently remind him that we need to put the juice back on the fridge door so that everything fits. But remember, you're not his mother. He's a grown man and he is just as capable of matching socks as you are. His mother (not you, surprise!) already taught him how to do these things when he was growing up (and his mother is not your mother, surprise surprise!).

Another thing to remember: compromise. Oftentimes when we clean up after dinner (thanks for the help hubby!), David will rinse off the dirty dishes and I'll load them into the dishwasher. Win-win: David helps me with household chores so I don't feel like I'm always the one doing them and I get to load the dishwasher the way I like it loaded. Oh, and win: we get to spend time together.

So girls (and maybe some of you guys), remember, the way your mama taught you to keep your house clean is good and valuable, but if a dish gets washed upside-down or backwards, it's still clean, right? Leave the battles to Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee. May you all have peace in your kitchens.