A Proper Introduction

Our story begins in the early fall of 2005.

Molly's perspective:
My brother was moving to college, Bryan College, and so naturally, my family all pitched in to move his computer, bedding, laundry detergent, iron that would never be used, mini fridge, microwave, snacks, etc., all the way up to the fourth floor of his dorm. After a load or two of essential dorm room items (can you say Ramen noodles, anyone?), we were greeted in my brother's new room by the Resident Assistant of his hall.

Enter David!

Although David felt somewhat nervous about meeting a multitude of parents that move-in day and reassuring them that yes, he would take care of their sons and make sure they studied Freshman English and not Video Games 101, he was rather excited for his first year as an RA. When he met my family, he spoke with my brother and parents while my aunt and I stood in the background. I remember thinking he was kinda cute, after all, he was a college boy. To a highschool girl, college just adds +1,000 cute points to most every boy. David talked with my family, friendly and kind, but alas, I don't think I spoke two words to him. I probably wanted to (remember that whole cute points thing), but didn't. David, being preoccupied with helping my brother sort out his snacks, doesn't quite remember the little sister that tagged along that day. Little did he know...

Since my family didn't live too far away from Bryan, we often visited my brother, especially for concerts or plays. I remember seeing David again at a performance of Beethoven's Hallelujah. Since, by the end of my brother's first year at school, he and David had become good friends, David came to visit us in late May of 2006. This was when David really remembers meeting me, but I'll let him tell that part of the story. This was also the first time I met David's mom and dad,  and I remember thinking in my girlish, high-school, want-to-meet-future-husband-in-college mind, "I wonder if I'm meeting my future in-laws today?" Ha! I think there was some unrealized attraction there, don't you?

I began my freshman year at Bryan the following August. David and I started to become good friends. He was my brother's RA once again, so I spent alot of time with both of them. I would also sit with David at lunch in the cafeteria, and he helped me through the many boy trials that most freshman girls willingly encounter. By the end of freshman year, I counted David as one of my good friends, somewhat of an older brother figure.

Well, during the following summer of 2007, our relationship started to change. Unbeknowst to me, David's feelings were taking a different turn. This resulted in several visits up to Bryan to see my brother...oh wait, I mean, *cough cough, me. One weekend in October really started the wheels turning. We were enjoying a lovely fall afternoon with my visiting family and I began to realize that David was flirting with me!  Nothing too overt, but my mom picked up on it. Must be that mom radar. Anyway, that weekend, we spent time with my family, took a walk around campus together, and ended with a three hour conversation outside behind my dorm. Four hour phone conversations followed, as well as lots of instant messaging, until November, the day after Thanksgiving, David told me what I had already suspected...he liked me!

We started dating in December of 2007. David told me he loved me for the first time in September of 2008. And then, on October 10th, 2009, David popped the big question...will you marry me?!? It happened in a garden, in the woods, in a quiet place. The ring was perfect. I was completely shocked. And I said yes! We set our wedding date for July 10th, 2010, a couple months after I was to graduate from Bryan College. Months of planning ensued, dress shopping, cake testing, invitation creating, and on and on. The big day finally rolled around, and, despite the fact that my stomach thought it was a pretzel, I was so happy to take another step in the journey that had started years before. I felt such a peace knowing that I was marrying the man that God had picked out for me, and for whom I had prayed for years. Our story doesn't end at our wedding, it merely begins a new and wonderful chapter in our lives together.

David's perspective:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, ...it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair..."

Besides flaunting my immense knowledge of British literature (COUGH SPUTTER CHOKE WHEEZE!!!), this passage always comes to mind when I think of the beginnings of Molly and my relationship. And Molly has nothing to do with the worst of times, just for the record.


I am an only child. I readily and happily admit it. My best friend growing up was my Super Nintendo. From the very beginning, I looked forward to the day when I would not be by myself anymore, which was my working definition of marriage as a kid and teenager. (Even now, my most favorite thing about being married to Molly is just our companionship, the intense sense of togetherness I feel with her). I was also the biggest nerd EVER in grade/high school. You don't want to even know. I cried when I made a 101 on a term paper in 5th grade, just in case you really did want to know. I had a great collection of friends all through my grade schooling, but I definitely did not attract the ladies. At least until I got my contacts as a junior, but even then the nerd tag is a hard one to shake.


I only give all that background to illustrate how strong the desire was in me for companionship, for someone to spend every day of my life with, someone to love, someone with whom to play two-player in Super Mario World. And everyone knows if you don't get married in college, you fall into a bottomless pit of solitude and despair that Jack Sparrow would be scared of. So with that perspective, a nerdy 18 year old valedictorian named David arrived rather timid and bewildered at Bryan. 


College was many things to me. At first, it was a place where I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Which translated into playing SNES emulators till midnight, then doing homework till 4am. It was also a place where I could become known as a not-nerd. It was also that place where you avoid falling into the bottomless pit. I did everything on my own in that regard; I spent all four years trying to fit what I wanted into God's plans. Surprise surprise, that doesn't work very well.

Long story less long, after a very gentle, non-violent breakup in the summer of 2007, I was at the end of myself. Best of times? I was 22, out of a delightful four years at Bryan, had a great degree, good friends, no college loans, had the world by the tail. Worst of times? I wallowed about in that pit of despair. I have never been so intensely angry and hateful inside in my life. I hated God, for letting me get myself into the mess I had made (real logical, I know). I hated my life because I was still single. I worked for an office furniture company, and I had to that point felt called to missions of some kind. I was realizing I had wasted so much time at Bryan trying to make something happen that I had no business making happen. I was so desperate I started listening to Kelly Clarkson...

So in these best of times/worst of times, along came a spunky, beautiful, modest, charming, talented Molly. God decided to bring Molly and I together when I was most angry, undeserving, and unloveable. Inside, I felt like I had screamed at God all summer, finally given up, and God said "Ok, thanks for that, you've given me a rusted-out Ford Fiesta, and all along I've had this Ferrari F430 over here I hand-made for you. See if you like it better."

I had always liked Molly a lot (you'd think that'd be a clue that maybe I should pursue her. Guys really ARE dense), but I really hadn't considered dating her. She was beautiful. Her mom was CRAZY about me. Her brother was my best friend. She was as crazy about baseball as I was. She was cute as 5 kittens combined. She almost asked me to Christmas banquet my senior year by kidnapping me. We loved having lunch together and just catching up. Better yet, she listened to me, confided in me, and thought I was great. Those months that I got to know her and began pursuing her, God was finally free to work in me because I had completely given up in every part of my life. I always tell Molly that dating her was the easiest thing I have ever done, because it was one of the first times I had truly let God work in my life. God brought to me the most wonderful woman He ever made, and He chose to begin giving her to me when I was the most rebellious I have ever been towards Him. Look no further for an illustration of God's sacrificial love towards us.

The months and years of our relationship that followed have been the most rewarding, enriching, and fulfilling times of my life. God has blessed me beyond my wildest imaginations. Marrying my love was more simple and carefree than I ever thought it would be. I love our story because I love how much God is in it, and I hope that this blog of our story can be an encouragement to you, no matter who you are or where you are in life.


This blog:
Well, that's our story in a rather large nutshell. Why this blog? We both feel so deeply blessed by the path God has brought us on together and we have learned many lessons along the way. We're not perfect, we haven't learned those lessons perfectly, and we still have a long way to go. But we felt that by sharing our stories and experiences, we might be able to help other people, singles or couples, men or women, in their journeys. From thoughtful reflection to practical advice (remember to get someone to cut your cake at your wedding...like I didn't), we hope this blog will be encouraging to you and maybe help you just a little bit along the way. We welcome comments and we look forward to growing along with you. So...welcome to The Marriage Files!