Family Ties

I honestly think I have the best family in the world. Not that our relationships have always been perfect, but they're the people I will always love the best. I also think I married into the best family in the world. They've always been accepting of me, welcoming me into their family with open arms.

But not without a few bumps along the way. After all, nobody is perfect, especially not me. Growing up, my family was always the one that moved around and lived away from family. Not because of choice, just because of my dad's different jobs. In my short 24 years, I've lived in 6 different states. David, however, was literally born and raised right here. The only time he lived anywhere else was when he went off to college. And not only that, but all his family is here. Both grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I, on the other hand, have family in Tennessee, Georgia, Wisconsin, Texas, Wyoming, North Carolina, and Iowa. And I'm not talking great aunts and uncles and second cousins and such. I'm talking parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The whole shebang.

So you can imagine how different it is for me to live close to family. And by close, I mean I can walk to 2 of the 3 other family houses from my house in less than 5 minutes. And not only can I walk to them, they can walk to me.

Now, by "different" I do not mean bad. Since living in our house down the street from his parents, I have told David many times how much I wish I had grown up with my family all around instead of seeing them only a few times a year. And how much I wish my parents live closer than they do now.

But, by "different" I also mean difficult. It's been a period of great adjustment for me and I think for them too. David's family loves to spend time together, which is wonderful, but that usually means they drop by unannounced or expect you to be at every family function. I do not operate like this. I get very flustered and frustrated when people just drop by. I grew up calling people before I ever went to their house, family or not. I know that if my parents lived nearby, they would always call before coming over. His family is just not like this, though, and that's ok. We're learning from each other. I'm learning to expect the unexpected and go with the flow. I'm learning to forgive and relax when someone interrupts my plans for my day. And they're learning to call before they come and consider that though I only work part time and am home most days, I have a schedule and deadlines too. They're learning to understand my needs and respect them just as much as I'm learning to enjoy the blessing of nearby family.

So our differences may bring difficulty sometimes, but difficulty produces progress and growth. And to get right down to it, we all really love each other. It saddens me when I hear about people who don't have good relationships with their in-laws. I frequently "hang out" with my mother-in-law, grabbing lunch, shopping at the mall, or getting our hair cut together. And no, it's not perfect, but we have a thriving relationship.

This past Wednesday night, we met David's parents for dinner at Moes and had coffee afterwards at Starbucks. I can't really say why, or point to some monumental growth that has taken place in the past few weeks, but that night I felt the most a part of his family as I ever have. And it was so refreshing. I felt so free to converse and joke and offer my opinion like it mattered. Not that they ever ignore me or disrespect me or anything, but it was the first time that I felt I had been a part of the family for years. That comfortable, warm and loving family feeling. I felt valued and respected and listened to and loved. It was just a special evening, not because of anything extraordinary, but just because if was a beautiful, blessed evening of family life the way it should be.

I have the best family in the world, both sides.