The Value of a Good Example

Allow me to brag on my husband a bit, because frankly, he's the best.

Last Saturday, the Saturday before Valentines Day, we were so excited about the presents we had gotten each other that we just went ahead and gave them to each other. I gave David a photo book of our trip to Europe last May and he gave me a customized coupon book for things like "A Night of Nothing" which included take-out, him waiting on me hand and foot, and whatever else I felt like doing/not doing. Bragging point number one.

On Tuesday, actual Valentines Day, I knew we would give each other our cards that evening, and I suspected that there might be flowers for me when I got home from work, but what I didn't expect was to walk into my classroom and see a lovely tulip arrangement and a sweet card sitting on the piano bench, hand delivered by David. Bragging point number two.

This past Friday night, David took me out to dinner at our favorite French restaurant and then to see Wicked, my favorite Broadway show, at the BJCC. He also planned for us to stay overnight at the Redmont hotel downtown for a fun and relaxing Valentines weekend. David meticulously planned this weekend, even driving to the hotel Friday afternoon to make sure he knew where he was and where we needed to go for our evening of fun. Our dinner of chicken crepes was delicious and we headed to the show with great anticipation. As we were entering the theater, the ticket taker paused and said, "These tickets are for Thursday." My heart sank. Ticketmaster had sent us the wrong tickets, and believe me, these weren't the cheapest, peanut gallery tickets either! But David handled it all with such grace. We went to the ticket window, and he bought us another set of tickets, in the same section where our original tickets were supposed to be. I kept telling him he didn't have to, but he kept insisting that he wasn't going to let anything stop us from having our evening. Bragging point number three.

David is not perfect, but he is pretty incredible. I see God's hand so clearly in his life, growing and shaping him into the man He has planned for him to be. And yes, he may get annoyed at traffic or frustrated when things don't go as planned, but I see such maturity in him, maturity to handle unexpected situations, maturity to meticulously plan a weekend of fun for his wife, maturity to go the distance in the little things, like coupon books and flowers.

I know that David has gained much of this maturity from watching his father, and so really this post is not just about bragging on David, but on his dad and on the Lord, too. We cannot underestimate the value of a good example in a person's life. David would be only half the man he is today if it wasn't for his dad and the example he has set. And David's dad (or David, for that matter) would not be the man he is today if it wasn't for the work of salvation that God has done in his heart. So as David's dad follows daily after Christ, David is encouraged to follow daily after Christ, and one day, our children will look to their dad's example to follow daily after Christ.

I thank God for the wonderful example he has placed in my husband's life and for how that will reap benefits down the road that we can't even imagine now.

A Tool in the Hands of God

"Not to us, O LORD, not to us, But to Your name give glory, Because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth." Psalm 115:1

As we groggily awoke and snuggled in bed on this cold, Valentines morning, David and I reminisced about our dating and pre-dating years. Notes we wrote each other, past Valentines celebrations, when we knew we first liked each other, the first time we held hands, past relationships, etc. When we first started dating in December 2007, David had just come out of a relationship a few months before, a relationship that he had sought after for some time but turned out to be not what God had for him, causing disappointment, confusion, and distance from God. However, God in His immense grace and His sovereign plan brought us together at that point in time and has led us faithfully until now. As we were remembering this this morning, David said to me something like, "God brought healing to me through you." I've been pondering this statement all morning. To think that I, a fallen, selfish, broken, messed-up, saved-by-grace sinner was used by God in the life of my now husband to draw him closer to his Savior is an incredible thought to say the least! One of the biggest blessings and challenges in a Christian marriage is being that "iron sharpening iron" (Proverbs 27:17), encouraging one another towards growth and more complete dependency on Christ. We are completely inadequate in ourselves to accomplish this, but praise be to God for His work in our lives! I worship Him for using me as a tool in His hands in my husband's life and I rejoice in Him for how He is using David to do the same in my life. It's a wonderful thing to witness and be a part of, something that you can take no credit for in and of yourselves, but that causes you and the world to look at your marriage and say, "Wow, only God could do that." So give thanks to our Father this Valentines Day for His grace in your life and marriage and for His kindness to make us useful instruments of blessing in His loving hands.

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, 'LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.'" 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

Family Ties

I honestly think I have the best family in the world. Not that our relationships have always been perfect, but they're the people I will always love the best. I also think I married into the best family in the world. They've always been accepting of me, welcoming me into their family with open arms.

But not without a few bumps along the way. After all, nobody is perfect, especially not me. Growing up, my family was always the one that moved around and lived away from family. Not because of choice, just because of my dad's different jobs. In my short 24 years, I've lived in 6 different states. David, however, was literally born and raised right here. The only time he lived anywhere else was when he went off to college. And not only that, but all his family is here. Both grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I, on the other hand, have family in Tennessee, Georgia, Wisconsin, Texas, Wyoming, North Carolina, and Iowa. And I'm not talking great aunts and uncles and second cousins and such. I'm talking parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The whole shebang.

So you can imagine how different it is for me to live close to family. And by close, I mean I can walk to 2 of the 3 other family houses from my house in less than 5 minutes. And not only can I walk to them, they can walk to me.

Now, by "different" I do not mean bad. Since living in our house down the street from his parents, I have told David many times how much I wish I had grown up with my family all around instead of seeing them only a few times a year. And how much I wish my parents live closer than they do now.

But, by "different" I also mean difficult. It's been a period of great adjustment for me and I think for them too. David's family loves to spend time together, which is wonderful, but that usually means they drop by unannounced or expect you to be at every family function. I do not operate like this. I get very flustered and frustrated when people just drop by. I grew up calling people before I ever went to their house, family or not. I know that if my parents lived nearby, they would always call before coming over. His family is just not like this, though, and that's ok. We're learning from each other. I'm learning to expect the unexpected and go with the flow. I'm learning to forgive and relax when someone interrupts my plans for my day. And they're learning to call before they come and consider that though I only work part time and am home most days, I have a schedule and deadlines too. They're learning to understand my needs and respect them just as much as I'm learning to enjoy the blessing of nearby family.

So our differences may bring difficulty sometimes, but difficulty produces progress and growth. And to get right down to it, we all really love each other. It saddens me when I hear about people who don't have good relationships with their in-laws. I frequently "hang out" with my mother-in-law, grabbing lunch, shopping at the mall, or getting our hair cut together. And no, it's not perfect, but we have a thriving relationship.

This past Wednesday night, we met David's parents for dinner at Moes and had coffee afterwards at Starbucks. I can't really say why, or point to some monumental growth that has taken place in the past few weeks, but that night I felt the most a part of his family as I ever have. And it was so refreshing. I felt so free to converse and joke and offer my opinion like it mattered. Not that they ever ignore me or disrespect me or anything, but it was the first time that I felt I had been a part of the family for years. That comfortable, warm and loving family feeling. I felt valued and respected and listened to and loved. It was just a special evening, not because of anything extraordinary, but just because if was a beautiful, blessed evening of family life the way it should be.

I have the best family in the world, both sides.

It's Been Awhile...

Good morning Blogger Nation!
As you can see, I have done a fantastic job of keeping up our blog with a whopping number of 3 total posts. Yeah, I'm obviously nominated for Blogger of the Year award. NOT.
One of my New Years' resolutions this year was to be better at journaling and remembering what happens in this year of our life. I feel like we are at a point in our lives/marriage where important things are going to be happening for us soon. For example, we bought our first home back in August. I don't want to miss the lessons we learn along the way, the things God teaches us, and the funny anecdotes that seem to multiply the more I teach piano lessons. All this to say, I'm going to be starting another blog that shares thoughts and stories I chronicle in my journal each day, things not necessarily pointed directly at marriage lessons. I'm still going to maintain this blog, as obviously we are still learning and I know God will continue to teach us about marriage, family, etc in the future. So even though I have a horrible track record with blogging, I'm going to attempt a whole other blog as well as maintain this one. Yes, I am crazy. But we'll see what happens.
So stay tuned here for the new blog address and for more frequent posts from yours truly.
Happy Friday!

The Coffee Adventure

Hello readers, forgive me for not posting in such a long time. Married life is busy!

I wanted to share a story from a couple weeks ago, not to be terribly insightful, but just to make you chuckle.

One Monday after I was done teaching, I decided that I missed David and wanted to take him something he'd like to brighten up his Monday. I decided on a Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate from the good ol' happy green circle since it was finally starting to feel a bit like Fall. I plugged the nearest Starbucks into my handy GPS and took off. Now, being relatively new to this area, I was relying solely on the GPS to get me where I needed to go. Little did I know that the Starbucks I was heading for was at one of the busier intersections downtown. Oh boy. I faithfully followed the GPS to the street where Starbucks was. I passed it once, turned around, and as I was coming back towards it, realized I was going to have to parallel park. Now, in my drivers test four years ago, I had to parallel park in order to pass. But that was in a roped off area of a parking lot with cones and not on a busy downtown street with real cars. I managed to "parallel park" in an empty spot. "Parallel park" as in as bad a job as I could get away with, about two feet from the curb and just out of the way of oncoming cars. I wasn't sure if I was in a metered spot or not, so I ran into Starbucks hoping I wouldn't get a ticket or get hit, for heaven's sake. I walked into Starbucks knowing that David liked the hot chocolate that had salt...somewhere. I walked up to the counter and here is the interaction that took place:
Me: Hello, do you guys have a hot chocolate that has salt on the rim?
Friendly Starbucks employee: ...On the rim?
Me: I know it has salt on it somewhere.
Employee: I think you're thinking of a margarita or a martini or something.
Me: (laughing) No, no, the hot chocolate with the salt.
Employee: The Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate?
Me: Yes! That's the one. I need a tall one and a tall Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Employee: Ok. Yeah, it's a little early for drinking. (being around 4 in the afternoon)
Me: (laughing) Yeah.
I waited for the drinks, praying the whole time that my car was ok and not ticketed. I got my drinks and raced out to the car, thankful to find it in one piece and perfectly legal, and was struggling to get inside my door without spilling the drinks or getting hit by oncoming cars. As I'm about to get into the driver's seat, I heard, "Excuse me a minute, ma'am." A man in his late twenties, early thirties, dressed in jeans and a nice polo, so clearly not a bum, walks across the street and starts telling me that he's stranded here downtown and it's going to take $26 more dollars to get to such and such a town (which is like fifteen minutes away) and blah blah blah. I was like, Really? I'm obviously trying to get in my car here with TWO cups of coffee and you're standing in a busy road holding a stack of dollars and trying to get me to add to it. So I said, firmly, I'm late for an appointment, I have to go. Which wasn't really a lie since this whole escapade was taking longer than I had expected and I didn't want David to be gone from work before I got there! (I later found out from my friend Diana that she's seen that same guy at a Walmart, trying to pull the same scam. Oh brother.) I got into my car, unparallel parked safely, and drove to the waiting traffic light, intended to turn left. The light turned green and I began to turn left, not realizing (because of the strange layout of this intersection and my unfamiliarity with it) that oncoming traffic was coming and that included a rather large school bus that was headed right at me! It was one of those moments where everything goes slow motion. Thankfully, I realized what I'd done and sped out of the way in plenty of time (I'm really not a terrible driver...you try driving in a downtown you've never driven in before!). I started to drive towards the road where I thought David's workplace was located. I turned left, as it looked slightly familiar, and began driving, keeping my eyes open for David's office. Little did I realize that I had turned on 1st Avenue South instead of 1st Avenue North. The whole time I was driving, I kept on trying to plug in the name of David's workplace into the GPS, but it wouldn't find it. I finally realized I wasn't on the right road and stopped to turn around in the parking lot of what looked like an auto parts store/mechanic's shop. As I was about to pull back onto the road, looking both ways, a car whizzed by me making that the second time I'd almost gotten hit that day. Sheesh. I pulled back onto the road and discovered that David had very wisely programmed "Work" into the GPS. Oh. On the right route now, things started to look alot more familiar. Unsure of which direction I was coming from towards David's office, if it was what I was used to or not, I tried to guess which lane I needed to be in to park in the company's parking lot. Guess what? Yes, I picked the wrong lane. So, I turned around, got in the right lane, and successfully parked (not parallel this time!). I made my way across the street and into the store, thankful to be out of the car and at a familiar location. I then asked the nice receptionist to call David up front as if he had a customer. After waiting several minutes, David came running up to the front, thinking he had a legitimate customer waiting on him, and found me, hot chocolate in hand and thankfully in one piece.

I laugh about that adventure now, and even though I made several driving errors that I would not like to repeat, I'm glad I was able to brighten David's day and do something special for my husband to make him feel as appreciated as he is. But I also learned, I won't be attempting downtown by myself again for a long time. :-)